Ripper --Review--
02-13-2010, 01:47 AM
**THIS USER STEALS REVIEWS. THIS POST ONLY REMAINS INTACT FOR EVIDENCE PURPOSES. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.** - Bojangles
Ripper
![[Image: Ripper_Letter_from_Hell_DVD_cover.jpg]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f5/Ripper_Letter_from_Hell_DVD_cover.jpg)
Ripper
Directed By: John Eyres
Cast:
* A. J. Cook as Molly Keller
* Bruce Payne as Marshall Kane
* Ryan Northcott as Jason Korda
* Claire Keim as Chantal Etienne
* Derek Hamilton as Eddie Sackman
* Daniella Evangelista as Mary-Anne Nordstrom
* Emmanuelle Vaugier as Andrea Carter
* Kelly Brook as Marisa Tavares
* Jurgen Prochnow as Detective Kelso
* Courtenay J. Stevens as Aaron Kroeker
Plot:
By the she was she was sixteen, Molly Keller had already lived to tell a very bloodcurdling tale : she was the only survivor of a violent massacre while on an otherwise peaceful island vacation with her friends. Distributed by her horrific past, Molly focuses all of her energies in researching the psyche of serial killers. This leads her to the forensic science program at Berkeley under famed author and man hunter , professor Martin Kane. But before long long, the evil that claimed Molly's friends is seemingly loose once again - this time on which is fixated on tracking the gruesome murderer. But events take an eerie turn when the matches London's oldest unsolved murders those of Jack-the- ripper. Molly's friends dall victim around her, once at a time, while the remaining group works feverishly to uncover the identity of the copycat killer.As the past reawakens. Molly is forced to face the terrifying secret behind the stalker's return , and the entire class soon realises that its history they dont want to repeat.
Review:
Director John Eyres directs this slab of stalk 'n slash with both eyes firmly fixed on the teen market, and what may have been a nice addition to the genre becomes an annoying and unwatchable piece of garbage due to its MTV trappings. So obnoxious are the trendy narcissistic teens that make up teacher Marshall Kane's (Bruce Payne) class of wannabe Clarice Starlings, that you'll find yourself rooting for the killer. Main character Molly is perhaps the most annoying character of all; her emotionally troubled, spunky, grunge-chic heroine is carefully designed to appeal to the widest possible teenage demographic; angst-ridden loners, trendy fashion followers, horny guysâshe's supposed to appeal to them all. Well I'm not a teenager anymore, and I hated her with a passion! And while I'm having a rant about the students, could someone please explain to me how they all became so damn erudite. From hacking into a police computer undetected, to conducting an autopsy, to fixing a satellite dish, nothing seemed to be beyond their capabilities. This is not the worst movie I have ever seen, but still it is not good that I expected when I haven't watched this movie yet. The opening is unclear, even after the movie ends. The only good scene in this movie is the first classroom scene where professor Kane messes with his students' minds. ::MINOR SPOILERS:: There are also some things I just didn't understand about the movie: a.) What was up with the random accents? The professor and Marisa are British, even though he was in the FBI... Chantelle and the cop are French I think, although I couldn't really tell because the actress playing Chantelle felt the need to whisper all her lines at a mile a minute. b.) Where are they? America, England, France? See above. c.) Is it just me, or is the character of Croaker or whoever, the reject loser, a complete rip off of Johnny Galecki's character in I Know What You Did Last Summer? He even looked like him. And I didn't even like that movie... so for me to defend it is amazing. d.) Is Jason like, a hidden Baldwin brother minus the acting talent? e.) Why did the entire class go up to a secluded cabin in the woods with no police protection or cell phones? And why did the cop feel the need to tell Molly really graphic crime scene info and then freak her out that there is a killer after her... but no police protection will be provided... oh, and I'll stalk you too, just for fun? If I was Molly, I would've called up the cops and reported that cop for harassment. f.) When Mary Anne gets run of the road and she's clinging to the cliff... how does the killer manage to get her off the cliff to mutilate her? g.)If you knew that you were the next one to die, would you go off in the woods in the rain in a car with no windows, no back, and randomly no locks? ALL CARS HAVE LOCKS! h.) The ending... what were the writers smoking when they came up with that? Ambiguity can only take you so far... there needs to be, oh... I don't know... A PLOT to fall back on. i.) What was with Molly and the professor randomly having sex? And if there was a serial killer after you, wouldn't you lock your freaking shack door? That's what she lived in... a shack. j.) Are police files and records really THAT easy to steal? Is that French cop the ONLY cop in town? If all your friends were being butchered, would you really go into a morgue at night all alone? If you were haded towards a buzz saw on an assembly line... wouldnt you try to crawl away from it instead of staring at the saw from 20 feet away? To sum it all up, the acting was awful. If you like A.J. Cooke, watch "Higher Ground." All the characters were unlikeable... my friend and I were just waiting for Chantelle to die. And now onto the death scenes. The first is the best of the murdersâa multiple stabbing followed by defenestrationâand it is also the bloodiest. The rest of the killings are relatively gore free and disappointing. The best (and nastiest) deaths actually occur by accident, when two characters fall in front of the whirring buzz blades of a sawmill.Toward the end of this drivel, which at 115 minutes is way too long, I gave up following the ludicrous plot. There was some rubbish about the victims sharing the same initials as those killed by Jack the Ripper, a pointless (non-explicit) sex scene, and various characters were revealed as red herrings. The finale is completely confusing and I ended up unsure as to who the killer really was.
Review: 2/5
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