Originals vs. remakes

[Dr. Briggs]

And not 1-on-1 out-of-universe either!

I am talking about "what if there was a battle royale, featuring a bunch of original slashers and their remake counterparts" - a no holds barred type deal wherein anyone could go after anyone, possibly even double-teaming if so inclined. What would happen?

Not enough poll options (especially since I'm a stickler for "none of the above" and related options), but here are the competitors

Freddy Krueger, original and remake
Jason Voorhees, original and remake
Michael Myers, original and remake
Norman Bates, original and remake
Billy (Black Christmas), original and remake
John Ryder (The Hitcher), original and remake
Thomas Hewitt and Bubba Sawyer (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
Axel Palmer and T.J. Hanniger (My Bloody Valentine)
Eric Slater and Andy Richards (Sorority Row)
Davey Slausen and Bo, Vincent & Lester Sinclair (because we all know House of Wax was really a remake of Tourist Trap >.>)
Curt Duncan and stalker dude (When a Stranger Calls)

According to the filmmakers, Prom Night is considered a sequel but called a remake, and I'm inclined to agree with the sentiment. Good for them. Omen's Damien is kind of a game breaker, as would be the entire Hills Have Eyes families.

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Personally I see original Freddy, egomaniac as he is, trying to torment and kill his remake counterpart first, whilst hunting original Jason for revenge down as well. I imagine to help him do this, he would manipulate remake Jason in the same way as he did with the original (and then try to kill him later for shits and giggles).

Maybe he'd try to control remake Michael through his mother as well, though I imagine since white-horse Mrs. Myers tends to be a more prominent presence than Mrs. Voorhees' ghost ever is, she'd fight against Fred.

Remake Freddy would be busy stalking Andy Richards from Sorority Row, him being the youngest there, and would probably kill him early considering Andy had a narrow motive in SR and would probably just be trying to escape/survive in the battle.

Original Norman Bates would probably die trying to convince his double to return to sanity as he eventually did, though Norman-1's words would probably get to Norman-2 to some extent and make him more nervous through the duration of the fight.

Original Michael would probably bump into original Billy at some point considering they both enjoy skulking around the shadows. Michael, having more strength, would probably kill Billy. Stalker guy from "Stranger Calls" remake would meet the same fate, but manage to avoid Michael for longer.

The two John Ryders would enjoy each other's company (somewhat) and team up. I imagine their first target would be Norman Bates-2 or Curt Duncan, mentally the most vulnerable in the place. I think they would probably get to Curt and murder him easily, whereas Norman would put up more of a fight (but still end up dead).

Axel and T.J. would probably go after one another, due to ending up hating each other in both MBV films. Dunno who would win: Axel is more fierce whereas T.J. is arguably more resourceful, being more "in tune" with the vengeful spirit of Harry Warden.

Original Freddy would probably successfully kill remake Freddy, but die when remake Jason realizes original Jason is a kindred spirit. The two Jasons gang up on Freddy and overwhelm him.

Both Leatherfaces would probably be unconcerned and fight defensively, though Hewitt would probably be more likely to be aggressive.

Eric Slater might take a liking to Davey Slausen for his relatively friendly manner and craftsmanship, as might Michael Myers, seeming as how they both killed siblings out of less than rational impulses.

What else would happen, for now, I'm stumped on. If anyone wants to brainstorm about the grand battle, here's the place to do it!

[Friday The 13th]

I couldn't really choose one or the other just yet... But the TCM & Jason Remakes were definitely better then the originals...

[Dr. Briggs]

It's a battle royale between the main killers, not a judge of the movies themselves... though for what it's worth, remake Jason and Leatherface seemed to know what they were doing moreso than their precursors.

[DragonBlues]

Briggs... your mind boggles. I'm seriously impressed.

Although, I'm not convinced that Freddy could be taken out even if the two Jasons do manage to pull it together and team-up, even momentarily. I would need a more thorough breakdown of the ensuing fight to believe it.

[FreddysFingers]

I can only comment on the ones that I've seen but this is a odd legged fight. These battles would be the ones that I could comment on in one big swoop.

reddy Krueger, original and remake
Jason Voorhees, original and remake
Michael Myers, original and remake
Billy (Black Christmas), original and remake
John Ryder (The Hitcher), original and remake
Thomas Hewitt and Bubba Sawyer (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
Axel Palmer and T.J. Hanniger (My Bloody Valentine)
Davey Slausen and Bo, Vincent & Lester Sinclair (because we all know House of Wax was really a remake of Tourist Trap >.>)

I say that their remake counterparts would win hands down because of one reason: modern audiences. Yes, because of modern audiences the killer has to be brutal, fast, dirty and sadistic. Today's hollywood serial killer has no charm, precision, subtlety or imagination. It's sad to say but while Michael is walking slow or staring at his victim after one stab, modern Michael would pulverize him 20 times over. While Freddy is too busy stalking his victim in the Dreamworld, modern Freddy would shred him.

The only time where the original would trump the remake is this one:

Norman Bates, original and remake

Because modern Norman Bates was retarded. Original Norman Bates didn't need to yank his thing.

[Friday The 13th]

I didn't like the modern Norman... Old Norman was wayyyy better.

[DragonBlues]

Awwww...

That idea makes me sad, Freddy, and it would be very easy to agree...

But I find that I have to disagree for reasons you actually listed. I think "charm, precision, subtlety, and imagination" are stronger weapons than you give them credit for. In epic battles to the death, brute strength only counts for so much. And sadism even less.

With the right amount of imagination and precision, the "remakes" would be dead before they even knew they were in a fight.

"Any fool can calculate strength."

[Dr. Briggs]

Fred makes a good point and so does Blues. Yeah, brute strength is exaggerated in the remakes at the expense of artistry, but the points still remain that in terms of inhuman strength, durability, and reality warping, original Michael, Jason and Freddy could still hold their own respectively.

Plus, I gotta reiterate that the fights wouldn't strictly be 1-on-1, original on remake: say original Jason got his hands on remake Billy, and the "original" would take the win hands down x_X

[FreddysFingers]

I think the originals would put up a fair fight but in the end, I think the remake would prevail. It seems as though Remake Michael would inflict more damage on Original Michael just because Remake Michael is a brute killing machine that doesn't tire. The battle of the two Freddys would be interesting but after a few good hits here and there, Original Freddy would fall.

[DragonBlues]

See... but this is how Briggs has made the discussion really interesting—by saying that the battle royale isn't necessarily between one character and his remake, but between any and all. For instance, how would O.G. Freddy hold up against, say... Remake Jason? Or how would Remake Michael hold up against a team up of O.G. Freddy and O.G. Norman?

exdev:

[FreddysFingers]

This is true. I think Original Freddy would decimate Remake Jason.

[DragonBlues]

LOL

[CarolinePar]

Wow...this was worth dragging my sleep-deprived self out of bed for