+- TalkHorror - Horror Talk For All Horror Fans (http://talkhorror.com/boards)
+-- Forum: Official TalkHorror (http://talkhorror.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Forum: Official TalkHorror Reviews (http://talkhorror.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?fid=33)
+--- Thread: The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) (/showthread.php?tid=2789)
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - TerrorScribe - 05-27-2010
[SIZE="5"]The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)[/SIZE]
Rated R
Directed by: Tom Six
Written by: Tom Six
Starring
Dieter Laser
Ashley C. Williams
Ashlynn Yennie
Akihiro Kitamura
Running time: 92 minutes
Stupid should hurt. I mean really hurt, like some kind of immediate sharp pain, like someone shoving a cold fireplace poker into your eye and wiggling it around. Stupid should hurt like that. Maybe if we had that kind of response to doing stupid things, itâd save us from a lot of lifeâs little problems, like discussing politics and religion at the Thanksgiving dinner table, or dating Hootersâ Girls, or electing self-seeking philandering xenophobes to office.
It might have also prevented a lot of what happens in âthe Human Centipede (First Sequence)â.
Genre fans have been hearing about this movie for quite a while now. The product of Dutch writer/director, Tom Six , âCentipedeâ is the story of Doctor Heiter (brought to ghoulish life by Dieter Laser), a specialist in separating conjoined twins, who has decided he would like to connect three people into one form, joined by a common digestive system. How exactly would he accomplish this? If you havenât heard already, you can still see it coming. He would accomplish this by sewing them together, mouth to anus.
Yeah, you read that right.
Mouth to anus.
Heiter gets his subjects however he can â in the opening, we see him kidnapping a truck driver â but he gets two thirds of his centipede in the form of two American girls vacationing in Germany, Lindsey and Jenny (Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie, respectively). The third is a Japanese man, Katsuro (Akihiro Kitamura). All in all, itâs a promising premise⦠but not much else.
To me, itâs never a good sign if you root for the obvious victims in the horror movie to die horribly, unless the purpose is for some kind of commentary. Take Paul Reiserâs Burke character in âAliensâ. When he died, people cheered because he was a slimy, corporate toady who deserved it. And he was Paul Reiser. But you get my point. Here, however, within the first fifteen minutes, I was already hoping for Lindsey and Jenny to die. Why? Well, because they were stupid â 100% âHereâs Your Signâ stupid. We first see them in their hotel room. OK, so theyâre New York party girls. A little cliché, but no biggie⦠until the clichés started to pile up like dirty diapers. Next, they get lost. Then, they get a flat tire in the middle of the woods at night in Germany. Of course, thereâs no cell signal there. Then, neither of them knows how to change a tire. Gods forbid that either of them tries to read the directions. No, it is better that they sit in the car and get accosted by some pervy old guy. They follow those nuggets of brilliance up with deciding to set off, on foot, in the middle of the night, in dresses and heels into the forest.
Where is a grue when you need one?
And after they are captured, they stay restrained in their hospital beds. Itâs not until the good doctor starts sedating them for their operation does Lindsey try to make a break for it â and then she easily defeats her bonds by pulling it off with her teeth.
It was stupid little things like that that ruined what could have been a very good film. The concept alone is enough to make most people wince, but it was wrapped in worn out genre clichés and shallow stereotypes that robbed it of being something powerful and grotesque. Somewhere midway through, it stopped being a horror film and became something like a twisted Saturday Night Live skit gone horribly wrong. It also failed to be engaging on any other level than the obvious, and once you got past the coprophagia, there wasnât much left.
âThe Human Centipede (First Sequence)â squanders a potent hype machine, Laserâs eerie performance and a promising premise for a melody of one banal note. With any luck, the sequel â thatâs already in the pipe â wonât make the same mistakes.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - Dr. Briggs - 05-27-2010
Unfortunately, I've heard a bunch of reviews just like this one. Seems like a damn good film but with a buttload of flaws.
Until today I wasn't curious enough to spoil it for myself, now I'm pretty glad I didn't wait to find out the headbanger "she chews through her bonds easily" until I saw the film myself.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - TerrorScribe - 05-28-2010
When I saw it in the theater (and arrived about 20 minutes in), that was the scene that made me say, "You have got to be fuckin' kidding me." Watching it again from the beginning, I had that moment a LOT earlier. It's like he only had the one idea - joining people into a centipede - but had absolutely fuck-all else in his bag.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - FreddysFingers - 05-28-2010
I will have to tweet this line: "Somewhere midway through, it stopped being a horror film and became something like a twisted Saturday Night Live skit gone horribly wrong."
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - TerrorScribe - 05-28-2010
Always happy to provide you with tweet material.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - FreddysFingers - 05-29-2010
For some reason your reviews are always quotable.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - BGTNJeff - 11-25-2010
![[Image: 2006_clerks_II_004ATM.jpg]](http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y16/podboy5/2006_clerks_II_004ATM.jpg)
You never go ass to mouth.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - mrblue - 11-26-2010
Idk I kinda liked the movie. And I plan on seeing the sequal.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - FreddysFingers - 11-26-2010
I think the only thing good about this movie was Laser's performance. He is such a freak.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - mrblue - 11-26-2010
Ohh I loved his performence.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - FreddysFingers - 11-27-2010
It's practically frightening. That face, those eyes, that voice. Classic mad scientist.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - Bojangles - 11-27-2010
Extremely overrated movie.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - NicoleMayCanaday - 11-27-2010
I have not seen this yet. I kinda feel dirty even contemplating if I wanna see it.
Ill just skip right over to A Serbian Film.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - mrblue - 11-27-2010
ohh is that out in the U.S yet?
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - Friday The 13th - 11-28-2010
Bojangles Wrote:Extremely overrated movie.
I agree!
The idea was funny as hell!
But the movie blowed balls dude.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) - FreddysFingers - 12-02-2010
Whoever sits down and thinks about that shit is seriously disturbed.