Decisions, decisions...

[TerrorScribe]

As I was looking at our screening assignments for the next month, I've noticed that no one has picked up the next Twilight movie, Eclipse. Ordinarily, I would avoid this assignment like the plague, but for some reason, I want to take it just to cast my jaundiced horror eye upon it. When the last one came out, they had a "He Said, She Said" thing with the girl being a Twi-tard.

I'm sure it's just me being petty and childish, but it's been a loooong time since I've had a movie I could sink my talons into. Should I take it?

[Lilith]

As I was looking at our screening assignments for the next month, I've noticed that no one has picked up the next Twilight movie, Eclipse. Ordinarily, I would avoid this assignment like the plague, but for some reason, I want to take it just to cast my jaundiced horror eye upon it. When the last one came out, they had a "He Said, She Said" thing with the girl being a Twi-tard.

I'm sure it's just me being petty and childish, but it's been a loooong time since I've had a movie I could sink my talons into. Should I take it?

Well, id say that depends. How are you intending to go into it? Take it for the right reasons id say at the least. Like for example, if it was me going into seeing my favorite all time horror movie as a remake...it would be hard to be "grading" it per say just because i am so critical of remakes, and being a favorite would be even harder. You kinda get what im saying? lol All in fairness etc, i guess is what im getting at.

[TerrorScribe]

Well, the movie's very existence offends me, but part of me wants to go in and give it an "objective" horror fans review - since it seems to be the habit of the media to lump it in with the horror genre. Remember the Oscar tribute? Still, to go in and give it that kind of review is almost the same thing as kicking a crippled kid down a flight of stairs.

[Lilith]

Well, the movie's very existence offends me, but part of me wants to go in and give it an "objective" horror fans review - since it seems to be the habit of the media to lump it in with the horror genre. Remember the Oscar tribute? Still, to go in and give it that kind of review is almost the same thing as kicking a crippled kid down a flight of stairs.

LOL i can see your point. And i agree, it shouldnt be lumped in with the horror genre. So i can see why youd want to point that out.

[FreddysFingers]

NO! For if you watch any Twilight movie... it will consume your life and you will wake up in a cold sweat every night. You will have waking nightmares of Robert Pattinson caressing your helpless body while you sleep while Bella nibbles your toes off............

[TerrorScribe]

NO! For if you watch any Twilight movie... it will consume your life and you will wake up in a cold sweat every night. You will have waking nightmares of Robert Pattinson caressing your helpless body while you sleep while Bella nibbles your toes off............

Then they would be the latest people I kill in a dream with a chainsaw. Last time, I had to learn Jason Voorhees not to chase me through the house with a machete. :jasonnnn:

[Dearsonis]

Don't do it!!!! You know what happened when they watch the tape on The Ring, right?! Plus that movie series has like one of the worst cast I've seen in my life, like were they doing a casting at American Eagle or something? Like fuck, Kirsten Stewart is not even that sexy what the fuck is up with that? Fuck Twilight, it's gay! And true horror fans don't look at that smut! - Love Dearsonis

[TerrorScribe]

OK, I pitched it to my editor and he's OKing it... BUT, he's sending a Twihard with me to give a "counterpoint" review. I told him we don't do that with any other movie and he said he wants traffic from the twihards that a positive review would bring. Gods, that just honks me off. I wonder if I could rally masses of true horror fans to give the twihards a beatdown.

:cavalry:

[Lilith]

OK, I pitched it to my editor and he's OKing it... BUT, he's sending a Twihard with me to give a "counterpoint" review. I told him we don't do that with any other movie and he said he wants traffic from the twihards that a positive review would bring. Gods, that just honks me off. I wonder if I could rally masses of true horror fans to give the twihards a beatdown.

:cavalry:

LOL i guess your editor kinda got what i was saying about it in the first place. Are you sure he didnt read this? LOL That does suck though, its like someone supervising your work in one sense. Lock em up that day or give them some fudge with ex-lax in it. They wont be a problem. lol

[TerrorScribe]

I don't feel like he's watching over my work. I feel like we're not being honest critics and we're coddling this particular franchise for the sake of traffic.

[Lilith]

I don't feel like he's watching over my work. I feel like we're not being honest critics and we're coddling this particular franchise for the sake of traffic.

Well obviously its along those lines, or he wouldnt be taggin along. I dont see the point in it. Its your review, you should be able to write what you want without having to have a twilight twits input in any way what so ever. Like you said yourself, its something thats never been done before. I know i certainly wouldnt like it. I wouldnt make a good critic for the simple fact i write exactly how i feel about something, no matter if it pisses people off or not. I dont cater to no one, lol.

[TerrorScribe]

The other reviewer is simply providing "counterpoint" to my review. We did this last year... for New Moon. Just feels like a big cop out, but apparently the numbers justify it.

[Lilith]

The other reviewer is simply providing "counterpoint" to my review. We did this last year... for New Moon. Just feels like a big cop out, but apparently the numbers justify it.

Well whatever they want to call it, it still falls into that category in my eye. And what makes Twilight so special? And it is a cop out to. Im not a fan of the series, but i will watch them when i have to. I can even admit that they are interesting and dont completely bore me. But its not horror and needs to be classified in its rightful category.

[TerrorScribe]

It seems it's just special because of all the little Twihards coming to the site to see at least one person giving it a good review.

A more disturbing thought is that I'm probably going to watch the first two to have a handle on the third. I may need an intense detoxification after that.

[FreddysFingers]

Good luck with that. You have to post up the review, I am eager to see what you two come to.

[TerrorScribe]

Looking back at what was done for New Moon, looks like the scales heavily leaned towards the Twi-hard end: One "he said/she said" somewhat comedic review and then a straight up Twi-hard (who made the inevitable and erroneous Romeo and Juliet comparison). This year, it's just me and the Twi-hard - or as my editor said, "I'm bringing out the big guns." At this point, I'm kinda hoping to start a massive flame war. :eg:

[Dr. Briggs]

Destroy him/her with logic!

[TerrorScribe]

That's my plan.

And if that fails, I will peel her skin off, flay the flesh from her bones in thin strips and then hoist her empty husk on a pike as a warning to all Twi-hards: Don't fuck with horror fans. kull: