Poor Richard Gere

[Psycho Stitch]

Several years ago, "they" say, Mr. Gere was admitted into the emergency room of a Los Angeles hospital with a gerbil lodged in his rectum. Gere was alone when he arrived, some say, or with a partner (e.g., former girlfriend Cindy Crawford) according to others. It took a whole team of surgeons to extract the animal from Gere's posterior. Some variants say the gerbil was found to have been shaven and declawed; others claim the animal had been placed in a special plastic pouch. And some say the poor creature was Gere's own beloved pet, aptly named "Tibet."

In any case, when the surgery was finally done the medical team was sworn to secrecy (unsuccessfully, we must conclude) and Gere went on his merry way, suffering no permanent damage other than to his reputation.