(Adult) Santa Jokes

[Friday The 13th]

[SIZE="5"]Assorted X-mas One-Liners[/SIZE]

1. A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: “Anyone want to buy a
present?”
2. Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa
looked around for a moment, then hollered “No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT
house!”
3. I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!
4. I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls
live.
5. No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for
themselves.
6. No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore
Santa exists!!
7. The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in
Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
8. Q: Do you know why Santa dosen’t have any children ??? A: he only comes
once a year and thats down a chimney …
9. Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty
girls live.
10. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
11. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf
esteem.
12. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
13. When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes
for Christmas.