08-22-2009, 05:18 PM
What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car????
Air Bags.........
Air Bags.........
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08-22-2009, 08:00 PM
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand ?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
08-22-2009, 08:12 PM
Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together! Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark! Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet. A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'." A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde robbed a supermarket. As they were stealing, a police officer walked in the store and saw what was happening. He dashed toward them, but they were able to get away into the back of the store. There they found three sacks to hide in. When the police officer checked there, he examined each sack. He kicks the first bag, and the redhead says "meow" in a high voice. The cop determines that it must only be a cat in that bag, and he moves on to the next. When he kicks the second bag, the brunette says "woof" in a low voice. The officer determines that it must only be a dog in that bag, so he moves on to the last bag. He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts "potato" to the officer. A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again. She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box." The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."
08-22-2009, 08:15 PM
There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
08-22-2009, 08:19 PM
How do you kill a blonde (Without utilizing a slasher, anyhow)?
Give her spiked shoulderpads and ask her a question  exdev:
âThe Fright Night remake is a film which taps into the audienceâs deepest rooted fears, such as those of vampires throwing motorcycles at them. I dread the thought of a vampire throwing a refrigerator or a deskjet printer or... Iâd better stop before I give myself nightmaresâ
08-23-2009, 12:34 AM
[COLOR="Cyan"]Two male blondes are stuck in a boat in the middle of the ocean. One of them finds a genie lamp, floating in the ocean. They rub the lamp, and the genie pops out.
"I'll grant you one wish for letting me out," she says. One of the blondes blurts out, "I wish the ocean was made of beer." The genie made it so. The 2nd guy smacks the first one, "Great. Now we have to piss in the boat."[/COLOR]
08-23-2009, 02:14 AM
Rosemary's Baby Wrote:[COLOR="Cyan"]Two male blondes are stuck in a boat in the middle of the ocean. One of them finds a genie lamp, floating in the ocean. They rub the lamp, and the genie pops out. lmfao!
08-24-2009, 03:49 AM
[COLOR="Cyan"]What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.[/COLOR]
08-24-2009, 03:50 AM
[COLOR="Cyan"]How many blond jokes are there?
One. The rest are true stories. [/COLOR]
08-24-2009, 03:51 AM
[COLOR="Cyan"]How do you know the blondes having a bad day?
Her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.[/COLOR]
08-24-2009, 03:53 AM
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. “How did this happen?” the doctor asked. “Well I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?” “No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”
08-24-2009, 09:33 PM
Rosemary's Baby Wrote:[COLOR="Cyan"]How many blond jokes are there? Nice one! 
08-24-2009, 10:24 PM
[COLOR="Cyan"]Thanks. I'm a brunette in a family full of blondes. All of them are blonde. Needless to say, I give them hell.
 What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth! [/COLOR]
08-24-2009, 10:25 PM
hahahah! I'm Brunette too
I used to be a Blonde though, when I was a baby lol!
08-24-2009, 10:25 PM
Yes, even Loki is blond! But, he's a smart blond.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics. "Crap!"
08-24-2009, 10:27 PM
[COLOR="Cyan"]I think our kid may turn brunette. At the moment, very blond. So's my mom, sister, brother, nephew. The only dark headed people are me & my dad, who no one claims.
A midget is riding a bus when a blonde steps on him. “Hey you, brunette, watch where you're going,” yells the midget. The blonde looks down and says, “I am not a brunette, I am a blonde.” The midget replies, “Not from where I'm standing.” [/COLOR] |
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